Wednesday, July 12, 2006

In-Flight Lexicon

Yet again, I took a flight out of gate 4 from JFK, this time for a deposition in Seattle. That's the same gate that I traveled out of during my ill-fated flight to Anguilla. This time, as with the last episode, JFK baggage handlers again took an extremely long time to load the plane. And yet again, we pulled onto the stacked runway as number 47 for takeoff. The captain blamed it on the weather. After we took off, they offered to sell food to the poor people in the main cabin. G-man lucked into First Class on the client's dime.

Flight Attendant: Would you care for the pasta or beef?

G-Man, furiously riffling through paper in an effort to catch up with work: Well, I'm actually quite busy now. And since we waited on the ground for two hours, I'm famished.

Flight Attendant: Yes, but would you care for the pasta or beef?

G-Man: I'm actually quite weak from hunger at this moment. I don't think I could take care of the preparation of either of those meals.

Flight Attendant: So you don't want anything?

G-Man: I would really like to eat something, preferrably the beef.

Flight Attendant walks away with a puzzled look on her face.