Lacking 35 USC § 101 Utility

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.

Partner: We can't file this application, because under 35 U.S.C. § 101, that bra does not satisfy the "useful" standard required for inventions.