Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Don't Know Why

As I waded through the crowds at Penn Station, when I saw a beggar at the top of the stairs leading to the 1/9. He was very unkempt, looked like he hadn't had a bath or clean clothes in weeks. Some people gave him money, most people gave him dirty looks. I felt sorry for him, and dropped a twenty in his cup. His eyes lit up, he turned and made a beeline for the liquor store.

I don't know why it isn't the same on the Internet. The information superhighway is lined with beggars having their hands out. Everytime I see a little Paypal sign on someone's blog, I want to send them a picture of that guy. Because, in my view, they should be no better off than him.

No More Alias

They're cancelling the show. I am so depressed.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Collect The Autumn Leaves

Click for larger image

Monday, November 14, 2005

Tie Me Up

At last month's poker tournament, Bluto finally won. It's so funny because he usually plays much better than me in online multitable tournaments, but he gets cold feet in live games. My flush got outhoused by Nat on the river, but I still finished out better than Tightass. We both couldn't catch a break. Tightass accused me of not finishing my blog stories, but that's because many of my loose ends are still loose. But, for at least his benefit, I promise to post at least once a week. I billed over 2200 hours last year (2350 counting "non-billable firm service"), so I can at least afford to post once a week. Deal?

First, let me tie up that HDTV story. Click here if you need a refresher. And here if you want to here me whine like a little bitch. Finally, after much wrangling with the manufacturer, they agreed to give me a discount on a new set. The repair shop also agreed to refund my repair costs ($370), but not the diagnostic/estimate fee ($135). I found a 42" HDTV, but it was actually smaller due to the 16:9 screen & I would have received only a $400 discount. Since I paid $1400 for the original TV, I decided that wasn't good enough and rejected their offer. After consulting with Bluto, I chose a 56" DLP, which listed for $3500. I haggled and got the manufacturer to give me the set for $2200. I sent them a certified check, and exactly one month later (a couple of days ago), they shipped the set to the repair shop, who delivered it to my home. Let me tell you folks, this is one FAT TV. I bet even Fresh wishes he had one in his mom's basement. So, once again, the lesson is, if you're persistent, persuasive and aware of your rights, you can capitalize on your misfortune.

As for my insurance flooding story, that's still an open issue. The adjuster finally came to my house, but I haven't heard from her yet. She went into my crawl space, but I have no idea what she thinks. I'll post again to update you.

Finally, more poker news. I entered a tournament this weekend and qualified for a satellite tournament to win a Ferrari. I finished in the top 200 of a field of 3500. I probably could have won the whole tournament, but there was no other prize, so I let little G finish out the tournament, much to Bluto's chagrin. I'm training little G to become the next Annie Duke. She already knows the list of ten premium hands and can bluff.

That's all until next week. I promise.



Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Illin' Some More

I've been sick for the last two weeks. I have a really bad cold. Not the kind where you can't breath, but rather, where green ectoplasm seems to emit from every orifice above the neck.

G-man: Do you remember me sneezing on you last night? I was asleep when it happened.
Jawbitch: Yeah, it woke me up. So disgusting. Why don't you cover your mouth when you sneeze?
G-man: I told you, I was totally sleeping. No joke.
Jawbitch: That's impossible. Nobody can sneeze in their sleep. Too much stimulus.
G-man: Well, I did, but it was so loud, it woke me up too. That's how I knew I sneezed on you. I'm sorry.
Jawbitch: Fucking gross, getting sprayed with all those vectors. Now I'm probably going to get sick.